“The cancer had spread to the brain, liver, lymphatic system and pelvic area. At this stage, there is no talk of cure; the treatment focuses on palliative care. Comfort. And no definitive timeline exists, only uncertainty. The dialogue is now of survival rates delineated by percentages. What does a 5% 5-year survival rate truly signify? So I continually confront the curious dichotomy of living while dying, of making day-to-day, ordinary life choices, without knowing whether I'll see the results or achieve a positive return on investment. LOL. Should I renew this lit mag subscription? For one year or two? Will my book be published posthumously? Will I live long enough to justify buying new shoes? Or a roasting pan? Everything matters. Nothing matters. Yin and yang.”