Song
Sex is weird, don’t you
think? I mean take my nose
in your handkerchief. I mean
who doesn’t want to rub up against
Beauty? Get a little of it on your
eyelids, in your nose, get inside its
dark, sweet, monogrammed folds
for a good sneeze? It’s a little
weird, a little gross, but I would
kiss you where you pee if you would
let me. Bless me, don’t you think it’s
Fate? I mean you and me in Beauty’s
corner? I mean me rooting for Beauty
in your lap? And don’t you think
Whoever thought this up was
Weird? I mean what was She
thinking? Love is life licking itself
prolific. I think it’s all just one big
Tongue. And I don’t think it means
anything. And I think about it all the
time. I mean all the time. Don’t you?
Flirting with the Deaf
I’ve been watching you watching the
interpreter. She is just to the left of the
speaker, and always slightly behind
so that you are always slightly behind
too, your face registering surprise
when the surprise has already been,
your smile on the heels of the other smiles,
your laugh coming after the wave of
laughter subsides. I love the lag time, the
pause between word and sign, the space
between signifier and signifier and
signifed. I want to slip inside that space and sit
across from you, legs crossed, hands
folded in my lap. If I made myself very
small, inconspicuous, insignificant as
another pair of antennae on the wall,
just watching you, quietly, watching the
interpreter, could I, could we, fit?
The Face of Listening
The active listening of Deaf people
in their signed conversations
with each other, if you’ve ever
seen them—beautiful, flitting,
leaping—communication as communion,
the almost-genuflecting heads
nodding their affirmations,
their agreements, their understandings,
the backchanneling, the feedback,
the empathic finger-flicked HOW-AWFUL,
the bobbing OH-I-SEE,
incredulous TRUE-BIZ?
in-the-face WOW! the approving
and allowing and concurring
RIGHT-RIGHT and YES-YES
and THAT-THAT-THAT—
all that grammar of the face, its tenses,
its anima, the thousand outpouring faces
of Deaf people listening to each other’s
gab, palaver, repartee, the found
poems, the stories, jokes and autobiographies
in a language with its own music—
rhythms, assonances, crescendos
and descrescendos, riffs and repetitions—
all the sections of the body’s orchestra—
hands, face, eyebrows, eye-gaze,
lips, tongue, head-tilt, shoulder-turn—
creating meaning simultaneously—voila—
a visual-gestural symphony for the eyes.
Old Basketball Hoop
This abandoned post
on the edge of the driveway,
holding up the backboard and the rim
for more than twenty years now
in the same rusted pose,
like a monument to my children’s
childhoods, which I pass beneath
every day on my way to work,
this memorial to H-O-R-S-E,
and Around the World,
and nothing-but-net,
a metal net that went KA-CHING,
a sound so rich and gratifying,
whenever we scored a basket,
and it still tinkles softly
when the wind blows through it,
though no one has taken a shot
in years. The whole contraption
with its frozen posture
reminds me a little of myself–
still holding out, still holding up
the circle of an empty embrace
for those same children
who are done being children,
who have moved away and won’t
be moving back. It’s a little sad
and a little ridiculous, frankly,
that a whole sandbox of sand
that once upon a time I poured
into that hollow base–
so the whole thing wouldn’t tip over–
is still sitting quietly inside
just waiting for those children
to come out and play.
Delve
I want to go deeper,
all the way down
to the cellar of the house
I grew up in. I go there
in my head, the same head
that easily cleared the low ceiling
above the dark, narrow staircase,
the lightswitch on the left,
the banister beginning halfway down
on the right, the aluminum nosing
of the treads groaning metallically
as I take the steps one at a time,
counting them as I go: one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight–I think there were
ten altogether, though I could be overshooting it
or undershooting it. I can’t
remember exactly but I can imagine
(imagination is memory) the exact feel
of the newel-–small, rounded, wooden—
and the squeak-rub sound it makes
as I grasp it briefly like the hand
of a dance partner and twirl myself around it,
jumping off the last step with a flourish
and landing on the linoleum tiles
of the floor of the basement
of my childhood, the furnace room
(fire-breathing, verboten) to the left,
the laundry room (sweet-smelling, white)
to the right, and one central cylindrical
vertical pole silently supporting everything
above. I put my arms around it
lovingly. I clamp my legs around it
tightly. And I embrace it like a fire pole,
replacing my tight grip with a looser grip
to allow myself to descend.
Revision
There used to be
a live chicken in this poem.
There was a mountain
and a sailboat.
The Pacific Ocean
sloshing between stanzas.
And me like Adam
saying Here am I
to God who was also
near.