POEM OF THE MONTH | JANUARY:
ABECEDARIAN
Alphabetic Literacies by Derek Mueller
[ABECEDARIAN REPLY TO THE DM: “jesus christ let me murder that pussy”]
Hannah Anowan
asking permission to slaughter me
bodily when you’ve already attempted to
crucify my psyche seems a bit…
delusional? degenerate? but most post-
esoteric chronically online wannabe
femcels will tell you that it’s my god-
given right to receive
handwritten letters of intent when
it comes to this type of sacrifice.
jesus himself probably didn’t
know all the ways torture could be
likened to sex til he was halfway thru his own
ministrations on the subject,
near naked & near death,
o omnipotent father suddenly im-
potent & nowhere to be found. how dare he
question his faith then?
rapt & wrapped in rags, forsaken,
scolding his master. christ. I, too,
think of my father when a man
upends my sense of self —
virtually murdering me with words
when I know he’d prefer to do it with
x-acto knives & other flimsy, shiny things.
yes, daddy! you ought to kill that sinful part of me,
zealot that you are.
Hannah Anowan is a lesbian poet from Canada’s motor city, where she earned a BA in sociology and works on the line at an automotive factory. If you like punk music, you can tune into her radio show “ham sandwich” on CJAM 99.1fm in Windsor & Detroit. If you are ambivalent towards punk music, you can read her previously published work in FRUITSLICE and Pagination, a local literary arts zine.
Contributor’s Note
Imagine using the lord’s name in vain and then unintentionally invoking visions of the “ultimate sacrifice” via horny DM. Nobody wants to be that guy.
I am particularly interested in accessible writing - both the act and the result - as someone with very little (read: zero) formal training or relevant credentials. This is also why I’ve recently taken up the habit of chewing on prompts like they’re sour skittles. I’ve now written poems about subjects I’d previously shied away from, using forms I’d never even heard of before (looking at you, Golden Shovels).The submission call for an abecedarian happened to come along as I was reflecting on my brief stint as a Woman Online. I was and am very drawn to the idea of a form that feels almost juvenile in its structure; we learn our ABCs and write acrostic poems as wee tots and the abecedarian harks back to those formative primary-school-language-arts years. This poem doesn’t subvert the form but maybe does pervert it with its discussion of sexuality, casual violence, and loss of faith. It is my testament to the idea that even big girls can have a little existential meltdown in the DMs, as a treat.
—Hannah Anowan
Editor’s Note
Hannah Anowan’s [Abecedarian Reply to the DM: “jesus christ lemme murder that pussy”] had me at its audacious title. What I love most is how the poem wields the childlike structure of an abecedarian to explore decidedly adult themes, creating a delicious tension between form and content. The way it weaves together digital harassment, religious imagery, and dark humor is masterful: “jesus himself probably didn’t / know all the ways torture could be likened to sex til he was halfway thru his own / ministrations.” Anowan’s command of tone is remarkable, moving from sardonic (“delusional? degenerate?”) to vulnerable (“upends my sense of self”) with devastating precision. The movement of this poem — in terms of tone and narrative — is captivating. Of all the 400 abecedarians we read, I was also most surprised by the choice of words used for each letter. Delightful!